Adam and Eve

• Genesis
• 1st man and woman
• Created on 6th day
• Eve created out of Adam's rib
• "Fall of Man"
  • Snakes LOSE legs
  • Women GET childbirth and gender inequality
  • Men GET hard agricultural labor
  • Mankind GETS Original Sin and LOSES immortality

Abraham

• Genesis
• Patriarch of Hebrews (and Christians and Muslims)
• God told him to sacrifice only son Isaac
  • Didn't question God and did what he was told

Lot

• Genesis
• Abraham's nephew
• Fled from Sodom and Gomorrah
• His two daughters got him drunk and slept with him
  • Incest = ok, homosexuality = SUPER BAD!

Noah

• Genesis
• Last of the antediluvian patriarchs (obviously)
• Flood
  • God is pissed
  • Humanity is wicked
  • God chooses Noah's family to be the only survivors
  • Gathered up twos of animals
  • Landed on Mount Ararat
  • Dove came back with olive branch
  • Rainbow is a promise
• Curse of Ham
  • Ham saw his father's nakedness when Noah was schwasted.
  • Noah cursed him.
  • Later used as justification of African race-based slavery during 17th-19th centuries.

Tower of Babel

• Genesis
• Humanity spoke one tongue, and decided to build a tower to Heaven
• God gets jealous and pissed
• Makes everybody speak different languages so this shit won't go down again
• Themes:
  • Human pride
  • Hubris
  • God is fearful/worried
  • God is EVOLVING!

Sodom and Gomorrah

• Genesis
• Two cities
• Lots of homosexual activity
• God sends down 2 angels
• Men try to sex up the angels
• Abraham asks God if he would spare the city if 50, 45, 30, 20, even 10 righteous people could be found
• Lot tries to save the angels, offering his two virgin daughters
• Men refuse, threaten to do worse to Lot than they would to the angels
• Angels kick ass, blinding everyone
• God tells Lot to get the hell out of Dodge, but that he can't look back
• Lot's wife doesn't listen, looks over her shoulder, and gets turned into a pillar of salt
• Themes:
  • The ladies can't do anything right!
  • Homosexuality is one of the biggest no-no's imaginable. (Sodom → sodomy)
  • Procreation AT ALL COSTS is God's command from Creation!

Accounts of Creation in Genesis

• 2 of them: the "Creation Week" and the "Eden Narrative"
• Creation Week:
  • Day 1: Light... "oh hell yeah, that's sweet!"
  • Day 2: Sky... "that's sweet as well"
  • Day 3: Earth, sea, and plants... "I'm getting pretty good at this shit!"
  • Day 4: Sun, moon, and stars... "Not too shabby"
  • Day 5: Birds and sea creatures... "Nice.  Be fruitful and multiply, everybody!"
  • Day 6: Land creatures and humans... "First of all, humans: eff yeah, I rock this shit!  So you guys are going to be in charge of everything.  Name some animals.  Oh, and here's some food... get your snack on!"
  • Day 7: Rest... "Well, I need a nap.  Every 7 days, I'm making this napping shit a tradition.  Feet up on this day, everyone!"
• Eden Narrative
  • Before plants and rain, God made a dude out of dust and breathed life up his nose.
  • Made him a place to chill (Garden of Eden) and stocked his fridge with snacks on trees.
  • Made the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
  • Told the dude: "Take care of my shit... eat my fruits.  But don't eat that fruit, Broseph.  If you do, you are going to die, alright?"
  • God wanted to give the guy a helper.
  • Made a shit-ton of animals, but none of them was a 'fitting helper'
  • God made Adam go to sleep, ripped out his rib, and made Eve... lays down the laws for marriage, leaves them naked, and leaves.
• MAJOR DIFFERENCES
  • In Week, Man and Woman are created at the same time, but after all the animals
  • In Eden, Man is created before all the animals, and before Woman

Yahweh

• Hebrew God
• No form... shapeless power
• Omnipotent, omnipresent, and omni-benevolent
• In the beginning, there was God and nothing
• God starts highly anthropomorphic as far as emotions, but gradually these characteristics dissipate
  • Jealousy, envy, rage, anger, etc.

Torah

• Hebrew holy text
• First five books of the King James Bible
  1. Genesis
  2. Exodus
  3. Leviticus
  4. Numbers
  5. Deuteronomy
• Contains the commandments
  • Top Ten list plus hundreds of smaller stuff
  • Hebrews setting up a brand new society, and needed some rules

Moses

• Kind of a big deal (foundation of monotheism, leader of Jews, gains distinction and independence for this new people)
• 10 Plagues on Egypt
  1. Nile → blood
  2. Frogs
  3. Gnats/Lice
  4. Flies spreading disease
  5. Disease and death of livestock (SPARING ISRAELITES)
  6. Boils on people
  7. Huge hailstones killing people and livestock
  8. Locusts
  9. Darkness over everything (EXCEPT GOSHEN)
  10. Death of Firstborns.... PASSOVER AND EXODUS
• Ten Commandments
  1. Yo, I'm God, and you can't have any other gods but me.
  2. Don't be makin' any idols.
  3. Don't take my name in vain.
  4. I rested on the Sabbath, and so will you.  Forever.  No exceptions.
  5. Your parents are cool... honor them.
  6. Don't kill anyone.
  7. Don't commit adultery.  It's not cool.
  8. Don't steal from people.  They don't like it, and neither do I.
  9. Don't bear false witness.  I don't like liars.
  10. Don't want your neighbor's shit.  His wife, his house, his plates... it's his, not yours.  Deal with it.
• Dealt with the whiny Hebrews in the desert for 40 years.
  • "Hey, MOSES!  There's a big effing sea in our way!"
    • Parts the Red Sea.
  • "Hey, MOSES!  This water tastes like shit!  It's all bitter."
    • Throws a tree in and makes it taste sweet.
  • "Hey, MOSES!  I'm hungry!  There's no food anywhere!"
    • Manna in the AM, quails in the PM
  • "Hey, MOSES!  Now we don't have any water.  This trip sucks!"
    • Smashes water out of a rock with his staff.
• Poor guy doesn't get to the promised land, cause he got pissed off at the Jews when they made a golden calf.

Saul

• Hebrews have conquered Palestine
• Now they need some organization
• Hebrews want an earthly leader appointed by Samuel, a respected old priest.
• God's like "I don't like this shit.  Well, I guess I can hook you guys up.  But if this happens, I'm laying down some strict rules."
• Good king (strong, conquers a lot, etc.)
• Blows it!
  • God said kill all the Amalekites
  • Saul saves king and the best animals (BEING RATIONAL!)
  • Samuel says it's better to obey than to sacrifice to God, so he slaughters Agag
• Becomes jealous of David being God's favorite

David

• Kills Goliath with a sling
  • GOD ALWAYS PREVAILS WITH MINIMAL EFFORT AGAINST ALL ODDS!
• David kicks ass as a warrior
• Becomes God's favorite
• Saul gets jealous, so David goes to the Philistines
• Marches against Saul, becomes king, and brings (temporary) security 

Epic of Gilgamesh

• Epic poem from Ancient Sumeria
• Gilgamesh is a king who is a dick until he gets a friend named Enkidu
• They go off on an adventure, and when Gilgamesh pisses off goddess Ishtar, she has the Bull of Heaven terrorize his kingdom.
• Gilg-kidu kill the Bull, and as a result, Enkidu dies
• Gilgamesh goes "Oh, shit!  I'm gonna die too someday.  That blows!"
• Tries to become immortal by talking to an old guy, staying awake for 6 days and 7 nights, and swimming to the bottom of a lake to eat a flower.
• IMPORTANCE:
  • The oldest piece of literature is about mortality and the meaning of life!

Code of Hammurabi

• First written law code
• Babylonian
• Carved into pillars so that everyone could see what the penalties were. (GOOD IDEA!)
• Severely harsh laws
• Punishment based on class
• King couldn't arbitrarily change laws
• 282 laws in total

Major Achievements of Mesopotamia

• Science/Math
  • 360° circle
  • 60 minute hours
  • Astronomy
  • Lunar calendar
• Law/Gov't
  • Written codes ↔ legal theory
  • Code of Hammurabi
• Literature
  • Cuneiform = first writing form
  • Gilgamesh = first literature

Minoan Civilization

• Features
  1. Wealthy and successful
  2. Palaces
     • Cleanliness and irrigation
  3. Language was NOT GREEK!
  4. Traders of pottery, metalworks, etc.
  5. Peaceful (NO FORTIFICATIONS)
  6. Apparently no striking class distinctions
  7. GENDER EQUALITY
     • Crafts, athletics, jobs, etc.
     • Bull jumping
     • Many female deities and priests
  8. ART FOR ART'S SAKE!
• Demise was either...
  • Mycenaean conquest
  • Volcanic eruption at Santori (Plato's Atlantis)

The Persians

• Biggest empire until the Roman
• Born out of Ancient Mesopotamia
• Absolute theocratic monarchy
• Administered empire through satraps
• Bound together by uniform language (Aramaic) based on Phoenician alphabet
• Roads, postal system, common weights and measures, and standardized coinage
• Fused many Near Eastern cultures (Babylonian, Egyptian, Median, Assyrian, etc.)
• Zoroastrianism
  • Dualistic balance between good and evil
  • Ahura Mazda = good guy
  • Ahriman = bad guy
  • Humans have choice between the two
  • Stressed ETHICS!

The Phoenicians

• Small homeland; exceptionally powerful
• Located near present-day Beirut
• Sailing people
• Created the compass, the alphabet
• Inadvertently shared these (and other) ideas when trading their goods

Mycenaean Civilization

• Features
  1. Came from mainland Greece
  2. Gave Greeks their myths, legends, religion, etc.
  3. Warlike conquerors
  4. Homeric traditions
  5. Borrowed a lot from Minoans
  6. Shared language, deities, and Hellenic ancestry, BUT were divided into tribes

The Persian Wars

• Greeks colonize in Ionia (Turkey)
• Persians conquer
• 499 B.C.E. - Greeks rebel against Persians
• Athens sent reinforcements
• Darius I gets pissed, sends small force to Athens
• BATTLE OF MARATHON! 490 B.C.E.
• 10 years later...
• Xerxes sends HUGE force to squash the Greeks
• Greece is tough to move through
• BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE buys Athenians time to prepare
• ORACLE AT DELPHI - "wooden wall will save Athens"
  • Themistocles: "Guys, let's build a shit ton of ships
  • BATTLE OF SALAMIS crushes the Persians, destroys their navy, and cuts them off from supply
• BATTLE OF PLATEA 479 B.C.E.
  • Spartans vs. Persians on land
  • Kills Persian war effort
• IMPORTANCE
  • Who beat the Persians? → Pelop. War
  • Ends Greece's fears of being conquered
  • Leads to Golden Age of Athens

The Delian League

• 1^st  U.N in history
• Athens' headed it up
• 150+ city-states in a confederation to protect themselves from second round of Persian attacks
• Member states couldn't withdraw
• Athens misused the power, paid for it's shit with League money, etc.
• ↑ Athenian imperialism and tyranny → Pelop. War

The Spartans

• Located on Peloponnesian peninsula
• Warrior Culture
  • Training began @ 7
  • People they had to conquer outnumbered them 10:1
  • No luxuries
  • Athletics and fighting
  • Eugenics
  • No surrender, no retreat (female shield saying)
  • Thermopylae
  • Homosexuality ENCOURAGED/TOLERATED!
• 2 kings, 1 vote each

Dionysus

• God of wine and drama
• Honored at the Great Dionysia, a multi-day dramatic ceremony held in Athens
  • 3 tragic playwrights produce 3 plays a piece, plus a comic 'satyr' play

Greek Gods

• Polytheistic
• Highly anthropomorphic
• Related to one another
• Mount Olympus
• Each had its own power
• Protectorates of certain city-states
  • Athena ↔Athens
  • Apollo ↔ Delphi
  • etc.
• A lot of the basis for mythology comes from Homer

Greek Art

• Idealistic realism (not specific, but a perfect 'form' [what's up, Plato!])
• Beauty and form
• Orderly and rational
• Importance of anatomy
• Unity
• Golden Ratio
• Architecture

Draco

• First written laws in Greece
• Appointed by aristocrats to codify laws in 621 B.C.E.
• ↓ arbitrary rulings, BUT ↑↑↑ severity
  • Little to no relief for peasants

Solon

• 594 B.C.E.
• Travelling poet and wise man
• ↓ role of the divine in human affairs
• Created institutⁿs like the Assembly for EVERYONE
  • By people, for people
• Diké - underlying justice in human community
• Avoided Civil War
• Economic Reforms to ↓ rich-poor gap
  • Forgave debts
  • Agriculture (more grapes and olives)
  • BALANCE WAS KEY

Pisistratus

• 546 B.C.E.
• Tyrant one the side of the common people
• Gave peasants land from aristocrats
• Promoted cultural life
  • Architecture
  • Sculpture
  • Painting
  • Homeric Epics
  • Festivals and Dramatic Performances

Cleisthenes

• Democratic aristocrat
• Redistricted Athens to end clan-based political rivalries
• Ostracism
  • 10 years from Athens (ostracon = piece of pottery)
  • He got this
• Assembly became top entity in Athens

Thespis

• 1st actor
• Stepped out from the chorus and engaged it in conversation

Aeschylus

• Earliest tragedian with surviving plays
• "The Persians" and "The Oresteia" (Agamemnon)
• Fought at Marathon
• Introduced 2^nd actor

Sophocles

• 2^nd of surviving 3
• Introduced 3^rd actor
• "Three Theban Plays"; "Ajax"; "Electra"
• Most award-winning playwright we know of

Euripides

• Most recent of surviving 3
• "The Frogs"; "The Bacchae"; "Trojan Women"; "Cyclops"
• Comic tragedian

Trojan War

• Occurred during the Mycenaean Period
• We know about it from Homer
• Respect of warriors for each other
• Helen of Troy (the Hellenic people!)

Cleon

• Athenian statesman and Strategos during Pelop. War
• Mytilenian Debate
  • Warmonger arguing for zero tolerance of insurrection as in Athens' interests
  • Eventually beaten by Diodotus

Alcibiades

• Argued for Sicilian Expedition against Nicias
• Wins and heads force to Sicily
• Athens' changes heart and sends a force after him with the charge of sacrilege
• He heads to Sparta
• They don't like traitors, so he heads to Persia
• TYRANNY OF THE MAJORITY
• CAUSED THE DISTRACTION THAT KILLED ATHENS, ENDING GREEK SOCIETY AND OPENING THE DOOR TO THE ROMANS!!!

Homer

• 8th Century B.C.E
• Poet (Illiad, Odyssey)
• areté = excellence
• Molded Greek ideals and myths
• Provided a scaffold for the mythology of the Pantheon

The Melian Dialogue

• Melos is an Athenian colony neutral in Pelop. War
• Athens says "you're with us or against us!"
• 'Might makes Right' argument
  • Rational outcome of pragmatics over morality
  • Relevant today
  • Responsibilities of Empire and Power
  • Deterioration of Greek society
• All Melian men killed; women and children sold into slavery