-waist to hip ratio in women

-shoulder to waist ratio in men

-propinquity

-physiological arousal

-mood

-culture

-similarity

physical closeness, how often you see someone, more likely to meet them

misattribution of arousal-misattribute stimulus of arousal

§  Direct effects-effects caused by the person whose attractiveness you’re evaluating

§  Indirect effects-affects that the individual themselves do not cause

§  Waist to hip/shoulder to hip ratios

§  Height

§  Status

§  Physical attractiveness

§  Attitudes

§  Demographic similarity

§  Individuals date and get married to, on average the individuals who are most similar to yourself

ú  Familiarity-more like yourself so you like them more

ú  balance theory-need for psychological balance, conceptually similar to self regulation

ú  not too similar-evolutionarily, genes are too similar, more likely to have unfit, non-viable children 

§  Schemas and stories for how relationships should go

§  Create expectations that influence how we behave in our own relationships

§  When things are aschematic-more conflict, distress in a more controlled manor

§  uncomfortable being close to others

§  difficult to trust others

§  tend to push people away

§  more short-term relationships

§  relatively easy to be close to others

§  comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them

§  not worried about getting abandoned

§  tend to have longer-term relationships

§  tend to test people in relationships more often

§  “I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like.  I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me.  I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away” 

Triangle of:

o  Intimacy (liking)

o   Passion (infatuation)

o   Commitment (empty love)

Intimacy+passion=

romantic love

Intimacy+commitment

companionate love

Passion+commitment=

fatuous love

  Sources of conflict for women with male partners

o   Partner is:

§  Demanding sex

§  Ignoring options

§  Hiding emotions

§  Being rude or teasing

Sources of conflict for men with female partners

o   Partner is:

§  Being sexually rejecting

§  Being moody

§  Being self-absorbed 

"4 horsemen of the apocalypse"

o   criticism-a complaint taken to the next level, made in absolutes

o   stonewalling-actively disengaging from a conversation

o   contempt-using mockery, sarcasm to belittle partner

o   deflection

o   social butterflies, little interaction with many people

close friendships, lot of interaction with few people

-more socially responsible behaviors

-less likely to say negative things that come to mind

-need positive social interactions 

-need to affiliate

-positive stimulation

-attention

-social comparasin

desire for accurate knowledge of social world, maintain self-esteem, want targets with greatest similarity

upward social comparison

·      cant be too dissimilar

·      desire to emphasize similarities

·      assimilation effects-assimilate to their level, get bumped up to their level

·      desire to emphasize differences-what you’re better then them at

·      contrast effects-move ourselves away from them

·      the effects depend on your self-esteem

o   economic argument at its premise is that we are in relationships because we get things out of them

o   do rewards exceed costs? Physical, emotional, spiritual

o   do not just weigh positives and negatives, but look to see if there is anything better, the alternatives

o   disaster

o   post-op

o   festivals

-equity theory

-Impression management-controlling ability of other people to form impressions of yourself

-Balance theory-we like to have our judgments be in balance and to have relationships with those that think similarly to you. 

§  Skilled-friendly, easy going

§  Less skilled-unfriendly, quick to anger, awkward

apprasals of social situations:

Challenge appraisal

skilled, think positively, more pro-social so is easier to make friends because more friendly

appraisal of social situations:

Threat appraisal

more defensive, less open, less friendly, less likely to make friends, low social skills can give themselves scripts of strategies to try and make friends, systematizing the process    

networks of acquaintance, contacts, how individuals in a particular context are connected to each other in a particular way

good things that can come from network from social contacts    

1. Openness

2. conscientious

3. extraverted

4. Agreeable

5. Neurotic

2. Conscientious

more conscientious individuals act opposite of extraverts

3. Extraverted

extraverts use social networks more, acquire friends faster, have more dense and interconnected networks

4. Agreeable

how friendly, approachable, and how nice a person is

5. Neurotic

those who exhibit more anxious, worry about position or things that are going to happen or could happen to them.  act exactly like extroverts

o   chronic loneliness have higher blood pressure, more stress hormones, consequential to reduce bodily response to inflammation and healing injuries

o   increased risk of cardiovascular disease

o   more rapid onset of Alzheimer’s disease

o   die sooner 

    A family is a social group, often sharing close genetic relatedness, that organizes itself together, often lives together, and shares important material and psychological resources.

o   independent/bachelor

o   coupling/forming

o   full nest

o   empty nest

o   senescence

o   attachment-continuity across generations

o   attributional styles-relationship to discipline and abuse

o   locus of control-external and authoritarianism, internal and support/warmth

myths and realities about birth order

o   birth order

§  hard to dissociate from family size

§  personality?

§  Mate choice

§  mindfulness

§  perceived cost

§  diffusion of responsibility

§  mood

§  attributions of cause of distress

§  similarity

§  gender

§  situational ambiguity

§  group size

§  diffusion of responsibility

§  social norms

understanding and sharing someone else’s feelings

understanding where they come from “stepping into someone else’s shoes” a cognitive, thinking process through which you decode someone’s cues and understand or try to understand what they’re going through

understanding that everyone else has a sense of self, different knowledge, motivations, backgrounds, this is crucial for feeling empathy

Empathetic Bystander Intervention

 feel empathy?

    yes-assume responsibilityà help

    noàis it easy to “escape?” 

         yesàdo not help

       noàhelp

 Egotistic Bystander Intervention

is there an easier way to feel better?

    Yesàdo not help

    Noà will helping make you feel better?

                       Yesàhelp

Empathetic Joy Bystander Intervention

will helper receive feedback on impact of help?