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| Imagine a world where everyone could only tell the truth? Your makeup looks horrible. Your breath stinks; Justin Bieber is actually a really good musician, i love him. And in the world we are in today, we say, Oh dayum girl, that makeup is fine, even if you look like a clown, Or the most told lie, “Ew I hate Justin Bieber” even though you have 2 of his albums on your itunes |
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| My mum says in her accent “Uzo, Lying is very bad”, but I beg to differ. I say lying is very bad, if you don’t have the skills at doing it. If you are going to lie, the least you can do is make it believable. Like many skills, this talent is cultivated based on practice, consistency and application. This is called, the art of lying. The other day in maths class, my maths teacher said, Practice makes perfect, no sir, practice, just makes you slightly better and that is what you need in order to improve on this skill. |
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| The truth is usually really hurtful, mundane or hard to deal with. Why do you lie? If you revert this question and ask me, I lie to avoid consequence such as embarrassment, failure or sometimes just because it’s easier than relying on the complicated truth. For example, where exactly did you get that? You could say, I got it from my mum who got it from her friend who had bought it from the market that is beside the other market or you could lie and say, “I don’t really remember” |
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| Doorbell rings and it is your daddy’s friend. The first thing your dad does is call you over to the corner and whispers, “Tell him I am not home” and then you look and you say in you tiny voice, “Are you asking me to lie?” and then dad goes “Just tell him, I am not home”. At the age of 3, you can lie but you haven’t mastered the technique yet. So, you go to the door in attempt to lie for your father and go “My daddy just said I should tell you, I am not home”. Yup, Inexperience. |
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| I can be very mischievous but I never get myself into any trouble. Why? I lie myself out. I am not telling you to lie; I am begging you to lie. Five easy steps to doing so are; |
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| 1 Lie politely. Based on research done by University of Massachusetts, percentage of men that lie is equivilant to the percentage of women that lie too. We both lie because of different reasons. Women most often lie to make others feel better. Your best friend gets 4% on maths in which everyone is getting 80% on. Instead of telling them the brutal truth, which is, give up, you are stupid, you can lie by saying, you are much smarter than many other people, who have yet to exist. |
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| 2 Lie reasonably. Why exaggerate? Don’t. Just don’t. Example: Teacher asks you for your homework. Your response, “The dog ate my homework” Seriously, seriously? What makes you think the dog would like it any better than you do. A better way to have saved yourself was by saying something simpler “I was doing it. I did it. Completely finished it. But, I left it on my desk. ”. |
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| 3 Lie consistently. Each lie has to follow up from one to another. You can’t change your lie. Once you are in it, just keep going. Somewhere along the line, it’ll end. Trust me, I am not even lying right now. As Austrian-Born German politician, Adolf Hitler mentions, “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it and eventually, they will believe it”. |
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| 4. Lie by omission method. Basically means, not telling the whole truth. Your parents ask, “Where are you going?” “I am going to Mel’s place” but you need to exclude the fact that there would be drugs, alcohol, and boys, knowing fully well, they won’t let you. |
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| 5 Never lie to yourself. Research as shown, most men lie to themselves in order to feel better. Famous fictional character from the animated series, The Simpsons, Mr. Homer Jay Simpson says; it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. You can’t play both roles. |
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| You lie, I lie, the person next to you lies. Everyone lies. Don’t stop it. You can’t. Just better yourself at it. If Pinocchio had taken these 5 steps, his nose would have stopped growing each time he lied. Save yourself from embarrassment, failure, and save other from hurting. Lying is universal. Practice, be consistent and apply. Hypocrites say, liars are cowards but, novelist, Samuel Butler says, “Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.” |
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