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| I wouldn't mind a shot of bourbon, if you've got it. |
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| Bernice, you're looking wonderful. |
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| Have a drink with us, Bernice. I'm having a teeny martooni. |
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In that case, I'll have a huge Manhootan. |
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Hi gang, sorry I'm late getting downstairs but the storm froze the lock on my overnight case, and I was upstairs heating it with a candle. |
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| And the candle kept dripping wax, so I moved into the closet and set something on fire. |
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| Well, I don't know because whatever it was burnt up. Then the maid comes in while I'm kneeling on the floor in the closet under this raging fire and wants to know if I'm Haitian. His eyes are very blue. |
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| We should think about him. I know you're only in the first draft, Bernice, but think about taking that long, long, long section where the sailor is telling the girl how beautiful she is and making it a ballet. |
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| I didn't think that section was all that long. |
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| Ever notice in Bernice's writing, how every time someone tells a woman how beautiful she is, the scene goes on forever? |
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| That comes from understanding romance, Roger, a subject you are somewhat hazy on. |
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| Does anyone need a refill? |
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Heavens, how dark it's getting and it's only just past one. Wonderful! The snow just won't stop, will it? What are you having, Bernice? |
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My old fither and me fither's fither, God rest their souls, were police officers. |
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| Bernice, have you...Bernice? |
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| Have you decided how much of the book we're going to do? |
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| Has this silliness of Roger's frightened you? |
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| Oh no, of course not. I was just thinking, we have nothing to be afraid of here. My God, we're warm and cozy in a lovely, old, kinda weird house...with secret passages, and blood-soaked carpets...and sorta isolated by the storm... |
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| I'm afraid I have a rather troubling announcement. I hope none of you have to reach New York this afternoon because the phone seems to have gone dead. |
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| ...and the phone seems to have gone dead...HELP! We're all going to be murdered, help!!! |
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| Let's get on to the second act. It's already four and Elsa wants to see this before dinner. |
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| I need to see a man about a dog. |
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| Last week someone there found the case and recognizing the name of one of the murder victims, mailed it to the police. Who thereupon mailed it to me. I put it in the closet and forgot about it. Till yesterday. And with all of us reunited I became curious. I opened it. And what do you think I found? |
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| I don't want to hear this, it's going to be somebody's finger or something. |
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| What? Who wasn't singing? |
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| Oh, let's not be ridiculous. Of course it wasn't one of us. We're show people. So, on with "act the second." As Shakespeare might have said. |
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| He might have, but I doubt if he ever did. |
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| All right, all right. Bernice, second act please. |
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| Okay, "White House Merry-Go-Round," Act Two. It opens in the Senate Chambers. Onstage are Biff and Trudy. There are also some pageboys. |
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| That's the format. Here's how it goes. Trudy is opening mail from Biff's constituents, all of whom have advice on how to run the country. This leads to the opener, "Everyone Can Do It Better." |
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| Let's all remain calm. It's probably the snowstorm. I'm sure Miss Von Grossenknueten will be here soon with candles. |
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| Listen are we all here? Are we? Didn't I hear the tiniest scream a moment ago? |
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| That's Roger and Ken. This is me The performers? |
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| She's smiling, see? She's just not being vocal. |
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| Well, following that number...which will be catchier and funnier...or maybe cut if you hate it that much! |
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| No, I mean this is the second act opener. And if she hates it... |
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| Has anyone come into the room from the passageway and out the door? |
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| I was by the door. They'd have had to pass through me...oh my God! |
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| The phone is in the closet? Roger, would you hold this for a moment, please? |
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