Term
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Definition
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Term
Jackal: He has a bad attitude about women. |
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Definition
Feelings: Anger, disappointment. Needs: Consideration, equality, respect |
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Term
Jackal: How are you going to fix this? |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustrated, disappointed. Needs: Safety, trust, support, clarity |
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Term
Jackal: How could you let them take advantage of you? |
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Definition
Feelings: Frightened, disappointed, appalled. Needs: Honesty, fairness, independence |
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Term
Jackal: How do you expect to make it alone? |
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Definition
Feelings: Anxious. Needs: Security |
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Term
Jackal: I can't do this anymore, I can't take the pressure. |
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Definition
Feelings: Overwhelmed, alone. Needs: Connection, support, choice |
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Term
Jackal: I can't explain what's going on for me. |
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Definition
Feelings: Confused, overwhelmed. Needs: Clarity, connection |
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Term
Jackal: I didn't tell you because I knew it would make you mad. |
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Definition
Feelings: Worried, agitated. Needs: Safety, consideration, peace |
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Term
Jackal: I just have to carry on, it's my responsibility. |
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Definition
Feelings: Tired, gloomy, overwhelmed. Needs: Security, respect, honor |
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Term
Jackal: I love you so much, I'd die without you! |
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Definition
Feelings: Joyful, alive. Needs: Love, connection |
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Term
Jackal: I need to make everything right |
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Definition
Feelings: Worried, concerned. Needs: Need to serve, integrity |
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Term
Jackal: I should be able to understand everything. |
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Definition
Feelings: Worried, overwhelmed, uneasy. Needs: Security, competence, order |
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Term
Jackal: I shouldn't be so emotional. |
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Definition
Feelings: Fear, shame. Needs: Expression, clarity |
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Term
Jackal: I shouldn't risk failing. I probably can't do it anyway. |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustrated, depressed, tired. Needs: Competency, purpose, autonomy |
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Term
Jackal: I work hard; I deserve to come home to a clean house. |
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Definition
Feelings: disappointed, exhausted, resentful. Needs: ease, mutuality, support |
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Term
Jackal: I'm incompetent, I can't understand this. |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustration, anxious. Needs: Contribution, autonomy, clarity |
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Term
Jackal: I'm not going to be a very good department chair. |
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Definition
Feelings: Apprehensive, anxious. Needs: Competence, respect, belonging |
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Term
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Definition
Feelings: Dejected, fearful. Needs: Success, happiness |
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Term
Jackal: If I were more disciplined, I would exercise regularly. |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustrated, disappointed, guilty. Needs: Health, self-respect |
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Term
Jackal: If you don't help me clean, we won't be able to spend time together. |
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Definition
Feelings: frustrated, anxious,. Needs: cooperation, cleanliness, connection, peace |
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Term
Jackal: (Insert least favorite politician) is a nazi! |
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Definition
Feelings: Irate, afraid. Needs: Security, freedom, preservation of life |
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Term
Jackal: Is that really your best effort?!? |
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Definition
Feelings: Disappointment, embarrassment. Needs: Contribution, competency |
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Term
Jackal: Look what you did, What were you thinking? |
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Definition
Feelings: disappointed, anxious. Needs: trust, safety, competence |
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Term
Jackal: Men drive sports-cars because they're overcompensating for shortcomings. |
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Definition
Feelings: Envious, resentful. Needs: Integrity, to be seen/known |
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Term
Jackal: Racists should be rounded up and shot! |
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Definition
Feelings: Rage, appalled. Needs: Respect, harmony |
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Term
Jackal: She didn't get enough hugs growing up. |
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Definition
Feelings: Exasperated, sympathetic. Needs: Fairness, growth |
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Term
Jackal: Taking care of my neck is just an excuse for not teaching this quarter. |
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Definition
Feelings: Guilty, confused. Needs: Contribution, integrity, honesty |
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Term
Jackal: That's not whole-hearted effort. |
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Definition
Feelings: Disappointed, discouraged. Needs: Authenticity, integrity |
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Term
Jackal: That's what you get for being unprepared. |
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Definition
Feelings: Exasperated, frustrated. Needs: Efficiency, competence |
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Term
Jackal: The trouble with you is that you can't accept authority. |
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Definition
Feelings: agitated, nervous, resentful. Needs: clarity, cooperation, mutuality, contribution |
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Term
Jackal: We have to go to work and sit in a cubicle all day, that's the way life is. |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustration, despair. Needs: Acceptance, harmony |
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Term
Jackal: We should be on time. |
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Definition
Feelings: anxious, impatient, embarrassed. Needs: Consideration, support, respect, community |
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Term
Jackal: Why are you being so argumentative? |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustration, confusion. Needs: Connection, clarity, understanding |
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Term
Jackal: Why are you so mean? |
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Definition
Feelings: Afraid, confused. Needs: Love, warmth, acceptance |
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Term
Jackal: Why aren't you listening to me? |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustrated, disappointed. Needs: Acknowledgment, respect |
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Term
Jackal: Why can't I get my ducks in a row? |
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Definition
Feelings: Apprehensive, overwhelmed. Needs: Sustenance, meaning |
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Term
Jackal: Why can't the house be more organized? |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustration, anxious, exasperated. Needs: Order, structure, efficiency, support |
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Term
Jackal: Why can't you listen to me? |
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Definition
Feelings: irritated, hurt, discouraged. Needs: to be seen and heard, expression, connection |
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Term
Jackal: Why don't you have a better job? |
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Definition
Feelings: Anxious, disappointment. Needs: Security, competence |
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Term
Jackal: Why won't you talk to me? |
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Definition
Feelings: Hurt, frustrated. Needs: Connection, cooperation, trust |
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Term
Jackal: You always do this! |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustrated, despair. Needs: Choice, security, trust |
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Term
Jackal: You always interrupt me! |
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Definition
Feelings: resentful, irritated. Needs: acknowledgement, respect, to be heard |
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Term
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Definition
Feelings: Impatient, irritated. Needs: Support, mutuality |
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Term
Jackal: You are seeking outside of yourself. |
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Definition
Feelings: Impatience, frustration. Needs: Self-reliance, independence, autonomy |
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Term
Jackal: You aren't good enough to succeed, sorry. |
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Definition
Feelings: Disappointed, dejected. Needs: Competence, reassurance |
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Term
Jackal: You better have a good explanation for this! |
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Definition
Feelings: Alarmed, worried. Needs: Understanding, serenity |
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Term
Jackal: You can't even sweep the floor right. |
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Definition
Feelings: Furious, impatient. Needs: Competence, cooperation |
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Term
Jackal: You cannot be relied upon. |
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Definition
Feelings: Disappointed, confused. Needs: Security, consistency |
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Term
Jackal: You don't know how to take care of yourself. |
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Definition
Feelings: Worried, frustrated. Needs: Preservation of life, reassurance |
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Term
Jackal: You have to see deeply. |
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Definition
Feelings: Impatient, concerned. Needs: Competency, growth, learning |
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Term
Jackal: You need to be less sensitive and stop feeling sorry for yourself. |
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Definition
Feelings: Concerned, ashamed. Needs: Strength, integrity |
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Term
Jackal: You need to clarify what you want in life. |
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Definition
Feelings: Confused, overwhelmed. Needs: Clarity, safety |
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Term
Jackal: You never learned to listen because your whole family never listens |
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Definition
Feelings: impatient, annoyed. Needs: competence, to be heard |
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Term
Jackal: You should be over this by now. |
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Definition
Feelings: Impatient, overwhelmed. Needs: Efficiency, ease, harmony |
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Term
Jackal: You shouldn't feel angry. |
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Definition
Feelings: Frustration, anguish. Needs: Connection, acceptance |
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Term
Jackal: You were wrong not to tell me about the broken dishes. |
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Definition
Feelings: Anger, disappointment. Needs: Honesty, respect |
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Term
Jackal: You will keep the house clean and the way I want it or I'm not living here. |
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Definition
Feelings: Angry, disappointed. Needs: Cleanliness, support |
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Term
Jackal: You withdraw when you are upset because you are trying to punish me. |
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Definition
Feelings: Resentful, afraid. Needs: Connection, security, safety |
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Term
Jackal: You're afraid to take risks. |
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Definition
Feelings: downhearted, hopeless, worry. Needs: purpose, stimulation, contribution |
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Term
Jackal: You're just jealous. |
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Definition
Feelings: defensive, hurt, disheartened. Needs: acknowledgment, harmony, acceptance |
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Term
Jackal: You're not being generous enough. |
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Definition
Feelings: Disappointment, guilt. Needs: Contribution, effectiveness |
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Term
Jackal: You're pissing me off! |
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Definition
Feelings: anger, frustration. Needs: understanding, cooperation |
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Term
Jackal: You're such a control freak. |
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Definition
Feelings: Stressed, frustrated. Needs: Autonomy, respect, |
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Term
Jackal: Your problem is that you won't tell me what you want. |
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Definition
Feelings: Sad, impatient. Needs: "Bonding, connection" |
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Term
Jackal: I would like to hear you say I was right. |
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Definition
Feelings: pain, hurt, sadness, frustration. Needs: to be seen & heard, trust, |
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Term
Jackal: See how nice you are today? Why can't you always be nice like this? |
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Definition
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Term
Jackal: You were a good daughter the first day or two, now you are only |
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Definition
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Term
Jackal: you are such a bitch |
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Definition
Feelings: angry, hurt, scared. Needs: respect, consideration, empathy |
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Term
Jackal: He/she is a bully. |
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Definition
Feelings: angry, indignant, disillusioned. Needs: fairness, autonomy, honor |
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