Term
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Definition
| criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling.. plus belligerence |
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Term
| with regard to criticism, how many positive comments or actions does it take to mske up for a piece of criticism |
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Definition
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Term
| difference between report talk vs rapport talk |
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Definition
report: conversation aimed mainly at conveying info
rapport: speaking to gain or reinforce intimacy |
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Term
| passive-agressive behavior |
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Definition
| substitute for directly expressed anger, through chronic criticism, nagging, nitpicking ext |
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Term
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Definition
| based on unresolved current or past issues that make relationship difficult |
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Term
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Definition
| powerful issues that partners are unaware of, cant talk about, or are unwilling to talk about |
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Term
| when do most couples deal with their hidden issues? |
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Definition
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Term
| john gotman found what to be predictive or martial stability/happiness? |
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Definition
| the onluy thing that predicted it was the amount of positive affect in conflict |
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Term
| what are the 3 types of safety we want to foster in relationships through positive communication |
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Definition
commitment safety: security of support and clear future
emotional: being able to talk openly and to support
personal: freedom from fear of emotion or physical harm or intimidation |
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Term
| incongruent and congruent messages |
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Definition
incongruent: verbal and nonverbal disagree
congruent: verbal and nonverbal agree |
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Term
| what are the three obstacles to valid hearing |
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Definition
| silence, expectations, baggage, incongruent messages, bad communication |
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Term
| 2 barriers to meaningful communication |
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Definition
| timing, and not letting situation arise |
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Term
| 3 factors in not allowing the situation to arise |
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Definition
| anger, lack of energuy, feeling we must solve the problem |
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Term
| 5 components to fighting fair |
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Definition
| focus on 1 issue, XYZ statement, rational and emotion, clear observably behavior, provide a solution |
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Term
| 5 barriers to conflict resolution |
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Definition
| not permitting situation to arise, accusation and gunnysacking, not letting person to talk, |
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Term
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Definition
| bringing up old grievances, martying/gunnysascking |
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Term
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Definition
| the need to have children/taken for granted.. if not having them, there needs some form of justification |
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Term
| transition of children from past to present |
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Definition
| less children as time has gone by, being childless is socially acceptable, married women wait longer now for thier first child |
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Term
| what are the costs related to career development for women who decide to have kids |
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Definition
| economic opportunities for wage earning and investments |
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Term
| correlation between economic status and number of children |
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Definition
| when economy is better, and unemployment rate is lower, people have more kids |
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Term
| advantages and disavdvantages of a 1 child family |
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Definition
advantages.. parents have more free time, well financially established, families do more together. children have better communication, can do out of school and home activities
disadvantages.. parents have fear that theyre child will die, only one chance to prove themselves. children dont get to experience siblings, extra pressure from parents, lots of parental scruntiny |
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Term
| percentage of women who remain childless? |
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Definition
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Term
| when are couples most happy? |
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Definition
| before first baby, and after last one leaves |
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Term
| two key factors associated to parenting that contribute to 'at risk' family life and low life satisfaction? |
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Definition
| mothers low iq, early pregnancy (which may lead to poverty) |
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Term
| what factors relate to people who are more likely to remain childless? |
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Definition
| high quality lives, travel, toys, careers, vital relationships |
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Term
| what factor regarding children is shown to decrease martial happiness/satisfaction? |
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Definition
| more children, less happy |
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Term
| effects of daycare on children |
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Definition
| they thrive with a quality staff and good ratio |
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Term
| know the different parenting styles |
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Definition
authoritarian: low on emotion, high on parental control
laissez faire: little or no parental guidance
authoritative: warm, firm, and fair, good both emotionally and strictly |
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Term
| benefits and disadvantages of childbearing late in life |
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Definition
benefits.. having your life in order, children not blocking dreams, children get attention.
consequences.. medical issue for mom, birth defects.. |
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Term
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Definition
| perfect pals, cooperative colleagues, angry associates, fiery foes |
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Term
| meaning of no fault divorce? |
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Definition
| law which exists in all fifty states, eliminates legal concepts of guilt, represents todays view of divorce. its okay to divorce |
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Term
| independence effect for women |
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Definition
| economic power to leave spouse, woman has alternative, feels independent |
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Term
| relationship of ethnicity and race to adjustment to divorce |
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Definition
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Term
| intergenerational transmission of divorce |
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Definition
| when parents remain married, they serve as better models to children about martial problems. children more likely to not divorce |
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Term
| exchange theory perspective with regard to martial happiness, barriers to divorce, alternatives to marriage |
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Definition
| levinger argues that spouses weigh their martial happiness against both alternatives to marriage and barriers to divorce. affection of economic concerns for children = barrier, religious beliefs |
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Term
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Definition
emotional: involves withholding positive emotions and communications from the relationship.. typically replacing these with alienating actions
legal: dissolution of marriage by state
community: rupture of relationships and social networks.. church ext
psychic divorce: regaining of psychological autonomy through emotional seperation from personality and influence of former spouse |
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Term
| concept of forgiveness, what it is and white it is not |
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Definition
| is no reconciliation. forgiveness is giving up perceived right to get even, giving up the attitude |
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Term
| child custody arrangements |
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Definition
fathers have legal financial support, mothers have day to day support
non custodial mothers.. giving up main custody of child |
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Term
| 5 perspectives related to neg effects of divorce on kids |
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Definition
life stress: assumes that kids and parents go through equal stress
parental loss: assumes family with both parents in same house is essential for kids development
economic hardship perspective: assumes economic hard times brought on by divorce is responsible for kids unhappiness
interparental conflict: holds conflict between parents is what lowered the well being of divorce for kids
parental adjustment: notes importance of custodial parents psychological adjustment. quality of parenting is important in kids adjustment |
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Term
| understand constance ahrons ideas about good divorce and the terms related to co parenting |
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Definition
| ahrons overall point is that good divorce doesnt end a family but makes a 2 household family. myth must be dismissed that only a nuclear family is a health family |
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Term
| factors contributing to instability and higher divorce rates in 2nd marriage |
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Definition
| disproportionately from lower middle and lower class, more accepting of divorce, less social support from families, inlaws ext |
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Term
| whats the level of martial satisfaction and family life satisfaction with second marriages to first marriages |
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Definition
| wives satisfaction to division of household work, seconds married will stress about step children |
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Term
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Definition
| incomplete instiution.. many variations |
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Term
| results of white and booths studies of remarriage and martial quality |
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Definition
| martial quality doesnt very greatly between first marriages , satisfaction with family less is less in 2nd |
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Term
| papernows 7 stage model of step family development |
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Definition
fantasy.. parents will get bck together, or quick adjustment for kids
immersion.. tension with stepss
awareness.. fantasies wont come true
mobilization: family works for change
action: solid alliances and boundaries found. more positive step relationships
contact: steps are significant authority figur
resolution.. step family has integration |
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Term
| main challenges in step families and step parenting |
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Definition
financial strains: money problems
role ambiguity: roles of stepparents not well defined
stepchildrens hostility: may fantasize with parents uniting, sabotage, feel like thyere betraying parents |
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Term
| differences in role adjustments between step mothers and step fathers? |
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Definition
step mothers.. stepmother trap, more anxious, bad with stepdaughter
stepfather: more have positive relationships with, better child outcomes |
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