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Gottman's Four Horseman +1 |
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criticism, defensiveness, content, stonewalling, +1 Belligerance |
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Postivite critiscism comments |
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conversation aimed at conveying information |
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speaking to gain intimacy |
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speaking to gain intimacy |
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directly expressed anger (nagging, nit picking, sarcasim) |
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issues partners are unable, unaware, or unwilling to talk about Most couples deal with their issus in contet of negative events |
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Gottman found that the only variable that predicted both marital stability and happiness was the amount of... |
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positive affect in the conflict |
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3 types of saftey through positive communication |
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commitment, emotional saftey, and personal saftey |
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verbal/nonverbal agreement |
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verbal/nonverbal disagreement |
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3 obstables to valid hearing |
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silence, expectations, baggage |
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2 barriers to meaningful communication |
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timing and not letting the situation arise |
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3 causes of fear "not letting the situation arise" |
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anger, lack of energy, wanting to solve the problem |
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5 components of fighting fair |
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1. focus on the issue 2. use "i" 3. make it a clear observable behavior 4. show emotion 5. provide a solution |
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keeping ones grivences secret while tossing them into an imaginary gunnysack growing heavier over time (martyring) |
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having a child is taken for granted whereas not having a child seems to need a justification |
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what is the percentage of child free women |
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happiest time in a marriage |
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before the first birth and after the last child leaves the nest |
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2 key factors of at risk family life |
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mother's low IQ and early pregnancy (usually=poverty) |
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True or False: More children decress happiness |
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in quality daycare they thrive and are more social and independent |
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authoritarian, laissez faire, authoritative |
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low on emotional nurturing and support but high on parental direction and control |
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permissive allowing child to se own boundaries with no parental guidance |
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warm firm and fair combines emotional nurturing and support with parental discretion |
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Four types of co parenting |
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perfect pals (12%), co operative colleagues (38%), angry associates (25%)firery foes (25%) |
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a law which exists in all 50 states it eliminates legal concepts of guilt and is a symbolic representation of how our society views divorce |
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employment might contribute to a divorce by giving an unhappily married woman the economic power, the increased independence and self confidence to help her decide on a divorce |
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intergenerational transmission of divorce |
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when partners remain married they serve as models of optomism about solving marital problems |
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exchange theory perspective: |
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Levinger argues that spouses weigh their marital happiness against both alternative to marriage and barriers to divorce. Affection and economic concerns for children are one thing that may serve as a barrier as well as a strong religious belief agains divorce |
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emotional, legal, community, psychic |
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is not reconsiliation. It is giving up the precieved right to get even. Giving up the "you own me" attitude |
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a good divorce does not end a family it produces a binuclear one (2 houeholds one family) |
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5 reasons for negative effects of divorce on children |
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life stress perspective, parental loss perspective, parental adjusment, economic hardship, parental conflict |
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is when remarriage is seen as an incomplete situation |
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white and Booths studies of remarriage |
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they found that marital quality does not vary greatly between first marriages and single or double remarriages. It is satisfaction with family life that is generally affected |
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Paperhow's 7 stages of stpe family development |
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1. fantasy 2. immersion 3. awareness 4. mobilization 5. action 6. conflict 7. resolution |
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3 main challanges in step families |
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1. financial strains 2. role ambiguity 3. stepchildrens hostility |
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