Mom marital stress: Both

Mom feels annoyed and kids scared

parents behaviors often differ toward siblings within the same famly

birth order-gender-personality-step child-special needs siblings

siblings experience different family environments due to parents behavior

*Adolescents report feeling closest to parents*

*adolescents feel most conflict with siblings*

1. caregiver relationship

2. buddy 

3. critical relationship

4.rival relationship

5. casula relationship

they agree on many of the most important aspects of their views of life (ideologies)

-fighting about the small things

-father son argue the most

conflicts with parents increases sharlpy in early adolescense and remains high for several years

Conflict issue

Moral

Conflict issue

Conventional

Conflict issue

Friendships

dating, spending time with friends

*example: who are you with? what are you doing?

Conflict issue

Personal

Conflict issue

prudential

smoking cigarretes

your health and wellbeing

-go to bed get some sleep

-stop eating junk food

-hygiene (take showers)

Conflict responses:

conventional

(Parents)

Conventional means a standard behavior

So it is familybehavioral standards

Example: "No daughter of mine will dress like this"

"In this family we support each other"

Conflict responses:

Pragmatic

(Parents)

-Practical (adolescents use it the most)

-consequences

example: mini skirt in the snow

"you're going to get sick"

"End up in jail or the hospital"

Conflict responses:

Authoritarian

(Parents)

reference to authority and punishment

-mom and dada are authoritarian over you "if you ruin your life i will punish you"

"My house my rules"

"because i said so"

Conflict responses 

(Parents)

Main two

1. conventional

2. authoritarian

Conflict responses: 

Conventional

(Adolescents)

Conflict responses: 

Pragmatic

(Adolescents)

-needs

materialistic

"needs new shoes, concert tickets etc."

Conflict responses: 

Personal

(Adolescents)

-adolescents domain; self expression

"your life and how you look"

"it's my life"

"stop trying to change me"

-your freedom

Conflict responses: 

Main one

(Adolescents)

Asian American parenting style

         -Filial piety-honor and obedience

Latino: do not question            

   -respeto/familismo

African Americans:

     -Extended kin networks/loyalty

   -uncles and aunts that are not really your family, more like family friends

intense caring that is seen in latino families

-intense closeness

they move out of their parents homes in their late teens

-they go off to college, cohabitate, freedom

latinos

blacks

asian americans

it is not common among whites because of collectivism, interdependence

Nearly half (%40) of American emerging adults return to the nest to live atleast once after they leave

-crowded/cluttered nest

-%80 go back home

1. end of college or military career

2. broke up/relationship break up

3. any kind of transition period

-jobless

-job searching

emerging adults who move out of their parents' house and later return

-boys tend to come back home

-boys tend to stay home longer

in late adolescence and emerging adulthood conflict with parents diminishes substantially

-before it use to increase in frequency but now

it goes down

-now we argue about big things like who you are dating and work

1. avoid daily frictions

2. you can control your parental visits

3. you have more control over your daily life

Emerging adults report greater closeness and fewer negative feelings toward their parents after moving

-appreciate mom and dad

-seeking out advice

1. AGE (MAIN ONE)- usually within the same grade

2. Gender: usually same gender

3. educational orientation: if you are a slacker your friends are too

4. media and leisure preferences: same showss, hobbies, music etc.

5.Participation in risk behavior: bad kids with bad kids and good kids with good kids

6.Ethnicity: similar backgrounds, hangout together

they focus on activities that bring friends together

example: playign soccer together

-we dont have a lot of personality

they are concerned with the personal quality of friends adn want friends they can trust

-intimacy begins to grow

-talking and telling secrets

-trust and loyalty is important, security

-anxious because of relationships

personalities

-more friends are of the opposite sex

-describe friends in terms of personality

-see boys by their personality

as close emotionally as girls' friendships, but involve less discussion of feelings

-trust and loyalty

think about situations where friends are there for each other

new behaviors with friends and discover new things about themselves

-try new makeup with friends

-trying out all kinds of behaviors and test them out with friends

it is one of forming a group identity more than of achieving a personal identity

-here you dont want to stick out by yourself

-fitting in

-group identity is group of friends

Support and Nurturance:

Informational support

-advice and guidance

-seeking information with friends

Support and Nurturance:

instrumental support

hands on help

-doing hw together, borrow a car, or money

Support and Nurturance:

Companionship support

someone you hang out with

-lets eat lunch together etc. plus one

Support and Nurturance:

Esteem support

you eant emotional support when things are good and bad

-friends encourage you, cosnul you

small groups of friends who know wach other well, they do things together and form a regular social group

-smaller group pf friends atleast 3

-spend time together, cohesive grou-gives good feedback

-there are more cliques then crowds 

-they are more common

*cliques spend the most time together*

-social category

(the band geeks, athletes, etc.)

-larger, reputation based groups of adolescents who are not necessarily friends and do not necessarily spend time together

-not always close

-provides settings "at the game"

Late high school.

-We have more of our own interests and

-identity and personality is developed

-less hierarchy because they are leaving and they dont care

-More niches

early high school and more differentiated as well

-middle school less differentiated

pace of socialization

-those who fall too far behind or too far ahead of their friends are dropped from the group

examples: 5th grader comes in with makeup kids will make fun and tell her not to do that

-or if they never wer makeup and then all of a sudden decide to wear makeup, people will think it is weird

socially active and in several cliques

-friends with everyone may not belong to one social clique

have a few friends and are not part of the social network

-all alone they do not have many friends and are not hanging out in cliques or crowds

research for the popular kids everyone liked them and looked up to them

often use physical (fights) or relational agression (not talking to them, bullying, not sitting with them) to achieve and maintain their status within the group

-this is equal for boys and girls

have difficulty making and maintaining friends due to their poor social skills, may fail to approach others because of their negative self image

-shy and ackward

- in certain settings these people shine

example- friend that always asks for a high five which was weird, but when he played the saxaphone everyone loved him

engage in few prosocial behaviors and appear to lack social skills that would help them to get along better  with peers, may be aggressive

-not nice, no social skills

-may become aggressive and mean from anything

-columbine killer, shooter type

-they felt rejected in some way

-all bullies have been bullied it is the only thing they have in common

More friendly and cooperative than rejected or neglected peers, similar social skills as popular adolescents

-just missing extra pop

tend to be confident, sociable, and socially skilled, amy be aggressive and more likely to engage in problem behaviros

-these kids tend to get into more trouble

-drinking ridky behavior etc.

1. recreation

2. learning

3. status

4. companionship

5. intimacy

6. courtship

dating:

recreation

you like the act of dating, you like going to the movies, you like what you do on dates

-you are not looking for mister right

-just want to go on dates for the fun and enjoyment

dating:

Learning

trying to understand what your type is, learning skills

-practicing dating interaction skills

dating:

Status

you might date someone that is popular or older so you can gain popularity or even just to say "im dating someone" makes you cooler

-impressing peers

dating: 

Companionship

you like certain activities

-Dan dates so he can have someone to go hicking with him, traveling. He just wants a buddy to do things with him.

-he shares his hobbies or interests

-sharing pleasurable activities

dating:

Intimacy

- we self disclose to have a bond

-establishing a close emotional relationship

- so its not about the actual person its just about the bond in your life

dating:

courtship

its about the partner, you always have to have someone with you

-seeking a steady partner

-you are not looking for an emotional connection, just someone to be with you

-initiate the date

-decide where to go

-control the public domain (he drives, he opens the door, he pays, chivalruous behavior)

-initiate sexual contact:

-arm around you, give you kiss

Reactice script; responding

(Females)

-Private domain (grooming and dress)

                -outfits, hair, nails, coordinating accessories

-responding to the males gestures in the public domain

                  -thank you, praise, acknowledgment, laughing at jokes

-responsing to his sexual initiatives

-gate keeping= we let him know how far and how fast

consensual validation

(Love)

falling in love

being in love

-people like to find in others an agreement or consensus, w/their own characteristics

-Finding this consensus supports, or validates their own way of looking at the world (supports how you see things)

-opposites do not attract

-intelligence (predicts longest relationship)

-social class

-ethnic background

-religious beliefs

-physical attractiveness

Brown's model of adolescent love

Initiation Phase

-First tentative explorations of love; usually superficial, brief and often fraught w/anxiety fear and excitement

-peers influence relationships

(i want to know my friends opinion, is it ok to date him?)

Brown's model adolescent love

Status Phase

-begin to gain confidence in their interaction skills w/potential romantic partners

-use peers as messenger (ask the guy questions)the reason the girl dating doesn't ask is because she is protecting her status. So the peer is the messenger tp protect girls status

-Messenger remains acutely aware of the evaluations of their friends and peers

Brown's model of adolescent love

Affection Phase

-Adolescents come to know each other better and express deeper feelings for each other

-beginning to engage in more extensive sexual activity

-Peers become monitors instead of messengers and they can eben cover for you 

-if conflict breaks out your peer will be the mediator

Brown's model of adolescent love

Bonding Phase (usually occurs in emerging adulthood)

-The romantic relationship becomes more enduring and serious-partners begin to discuss the possibility of a lifelong commitment

-peer takes minimal role, may become resented

-peer phases out

-Different types of love involve combining 3 fundamental qualities of love in different ways

-Passion

-Intimacy

-Commitment

Sternberg's Theory of love

Fundamental Qualities

Passion

think involves physical attraction and sexual desire

-might involve jealousy and anger (think he's not)

Sternberg's Theory of love

Fundamental Qualities

Intimacy

Sternberg's Theory of love

Fundamental Qualities

Commitment

The pledge to love someone long term 

Pledge: choice, decision, promise etc.

-infatuation (Passion alone)

-Romantic love (Intimacy + Passion)

Both of these are missing commitement but they both have passion

at least 2/3 of emerging adults

-very common

22 for men

20 for women

brief and unstable

-usually cohabitate for less than a year

likelyhood of later divorce

-being engaged you will stay married

-if there is no commitment then it wont last

women

-women monitor the relationship so they know when its not going well

lonelier, unhappier, and more depressed than rejected women

-they have less social connections, fewer friends, smaller network

-they find it harder than rejected women to accept the end of the relationship and to stay friends

Usually the guy 

-still calling, texting, cyberstalking

-not letting it go, he is still trying to persue you

cognitive frameworks concerning expected patterns of how sexual experiences should proceed

-guide adolescents own thoughts, emotions, and behavior and understanding/interpretation of their sexual partner

1.  bboys have permission to be sexually active

-cool/man

2. Girls are encouraged to avoid sex

-slut

-Boys highly positive 70%, pride n telling friends

-girls 26% thrilled, ambivalent, guilty, worried, afraid of getting pregnant. Does not tell anyone

usually are not discussed with parents; however, adolescent most often go to parents for information

-usually mom

perception of their worth as sexual beings

-am i sexually appealing?

-sexual adequacy: do i know what i am doing

-perception of control over sexual experiences

-"can i communicate well about sex:yes, no, stop, etc.

-ability to buy contraception

beliefs about sexual needs

-how open are you to experimentation

-how much commitment do you need

-know him for an hour

-need to be married etc.

have little confidence in sexual attraciveness, feel no control over sexual situation

-anxious about sexuality

-younger highschool students and more girls

low self-esteem and little sense of control in sexual encounters, but interested in exploring their sexua;ity

-want to explore

-younger boys in highschool

confident of sex appeal and ability to control sexual situations interested in exploring sexuality and were sexually experienced

-have experience, interested, comfortable

-older high highschool students both boys and girls equal number

have high levels of sexual arousal and interest in sexual exploration; have little anxiety and little relationship commitment

-Older highschool boys

-dont need alot of commitment

-one night stand hook ups

unable to say no to sex

-older high school boys

-wedding crashers

-you do everything because you want to hook up

-label category

-hetersosexual is not in the list becuase for identity only gay/lesbian/bisexual

Sexual identity development:

stages of coming out

-awareness

-disclosure to others

-socialization with other LGB'S

-Positive self identification

-integration and acceptance

(these are not clear stages)

open about it to others

see your place in society

gay male sexual orientation, but not women

women's sexuality is more fluid

twin studies show identical twins were more likely than fraternal twins to have homosexual feelings.

If one twin is gay than the other twin most likely will be too when it comes to identical twins

parental relationships, childhood sexual experiences, sexual abuse, peer relationships, dating experiences all of these have no relationto sexual relation

-both have similar experiences

- no one has same range of experiences

-results show that children raised by homosexual parents were more likely to be heterosexual vs. homosexual