Term
| HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SOMEONE IS VIOLENT? |
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Definition
1. LISTEN TO YOUR CONSCIOUS
2. HOW DO THEY SMILE? HOLD THEMSELVES? TALK?
NONVERBAL MESSAGES SHOULD BE LISTENED TO |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
1. FORCED TEAMING |
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Definition
WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER” – SHARED EXPERIENCE “WE”
MAKE YOU THINK YOU’RE DEVELOPING A RELATIONSHIP
VERY DIFFICULT TO REBUFF – DON’T TAKE NO FOR ANSWER
CRIMINAL HAS TO INITIALLY GAIN TRUST FROM YOU
SHARING A PREDICAMENT OR EXPERIENCE (MAY BE INTENTIONAL)
BE AWARE WHEN QUESTIONS ARE ASKED LIKE “WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
2. CHARM AND NICENESS |
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Definition
MANIPULATIONS
TYPICALLY HAS MOTIVE
CONTROLLING ELEMENT
CHALLENGE THEM!
COMPEL
TRIES TO CHARM RATHER THAN BEING CHARMING
DRAW YOU IN, MAKE YOU CENTER OF UNIVERSE
NICENESS CAN BE A STRATEGY OF SOCIAL INTERVENTION
WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE WARM AND UNASSERTING
GUYS LEARN TO RESCUE TO BAIL OUT
SHOWS UP AT HOME, WORK ETC.
WARMTH WILL ONLY LENGTHEN THE ENCOUNTER |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
3. TOO MANY DETAILS |
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Definition
WHEN PEOPLE LIE THEY KEEP GIVING YOU DETAILS TO CONVINCE YOU
LISTEN TO CONTEXT IN WHICH DETAILS ARE GIVEN
RELY ON DISTRACTING YOU FROM THE OBVIOUS
TRY TO ENGAGE YOU SO YOU DON’T REALIZE YOUR SURROUNDINGS
MAY USE CATCHY DETAILS TO DRAW YOU IN (THINGS IN COMMON)
REMIND YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE
MINDS SEEK COMFORT |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
4. TYPECASTING |
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Definition
MEN MORE THAN WOMEN
LABEL YOU IN A WAY THAT’S SLIGHTLY NEGATIVE
LOOK FOR WEAKNESSES/WHERE TO GET IN
“YOU’RE PROBABLY TOO RICH/NICE TO TALK TO ME.”
SUBTLE PUT-DOWNS “YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT TYPE TO READ A BOOK.”
GUILT, MINOR PUT-DOWNS
YOU CONFORM OR APOLOGIZE
SHIFT IN POWER
LOOKING FOR RIGHT RESPONSE
SHOULD SAY, “IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”
BEST DEFENSE IS SILENCE – DON’T REFUTE
THEY WANT YOU TO ARGUE W/THEM
THEY DON’T CARE WHAT’S TRUE OR FALSE |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
5. LOANSHARKING |
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Definition
YOU OWE THEM
MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO LEAVE YOU ALONE BECAUSE YOU OWE THEM
CROSS PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES
OFFER ASSISTANCE WHILE CALCULATING DEBT
BRING IT INTO CONTEXT? WHY IS THIS PERSON TELLING ME THIS?
WHY ARE THEY BEING NICE?
PROFILING = PUZZLE-PIECING |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
6. THE UNSOLICITED PROMISE |
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Definition
TRYING TO BUILD TRUST
“I PROMISE I’LL JUST COME IN FOR A SECOND.”
WHY ARE THEY PROMISING?
MOST RELICIBLE
USED TO CONVINCE BUT NOT GUARANTEED
HOLLOW INSTRUMENT OF SPEECH
TRYING TO REDUCE DOUBT
DOUBT IS THE MESSENGER OF INTUITION |
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Term
SIGNALS EARLY ON – SURVIVAL SIGNALS
7. DISCOUNTING THE WORD ‘NO’ |
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Definition
NO IS NEVER NEGOTIABLE
RED FLAG WHEN THEY START NEGOTIATING
SEEKING CONTROL – NEVER RELENT
NEGOTIATION IS ABOUT POSSIBILITIES
LOOKING FOR SIGNALS HE CAN CONTROL |
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Term
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Definition
1. NAGGING FEELINGS
2. PERSISTENT THOUGHTS
3. HUMOR
4. NERVOUS WONDER,
5. ANXIETY
6. CURIOSITY - THEY WANT YOU TO ASK QUESTIONS
7. HESITATION, DOUBT, FEAR, SUSPICION, APPREHENSION,
*PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY LANGUAGE – ARE YOUR ARMS FOLDED? |
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Term
| EMOTIONAL PATTERNS OR GENERAL BEHAVIORS OF HUMANS |
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Definition
1. WE SEEK CONNECTION W/OTHERS – WE ARE SADDENED BY THE THOUGHT OF IT
2. WE DISLIKE REJECTION
3. WE LIKE RECOGNITION AND ATTENTION
4. WE WILL DO MORE TO AVOID PAIN THAN SEEK PLEASURE
5. WE DON’T LIKE RIDICULE/EMBARRASSMENT
6. WE CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK
7. WE SEEK A DEGREE OF CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES
*PEOPLE WHO ARE DANGEROUS DON’T HAVE THE ABOVE TRAITS, THEY HAVE OTHERS |
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Term
| WITHOUT A CONSCIOUS (HARE) – DANGEROUS TRAITS |
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Definition
1. CONARTISTS ARE GLIB AND SUPERFICIAL
2. ECCENTRIC AND GRANDIOSE
3. *LACK REMORSE OR GUILT
4. DECEITFUL AND MANIPULATIVE
5. IMPULSIVE
6. IN NEED OF EXCITEMENT - PERPETUALLY CHAOTIC
7. LACKING IN RESPONSIBILITY
8. EMOTIONALLY SHALLOW |
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Term
| DEALING WITH A PSYCHOPATH |
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Definition
ASK YOURSELF: HOW DOES THIS PERSON VIEW THE SITUATION?
BEHAVIOR WILL BE CONSISTENT WITH THE WAY THEY SEE THEMSELVES
THEY WON’T UNDERSTAND APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR FROM OUR VIEWPOINT
NOT GOING TO OFFER HELP
ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS
THEY STAND AT AN APPROPRIATE DISTANCE
KEEP CULTURE IN MIND (AMERICANS 3-4 FT.)
DOESN’T WALK ABOUT FREELY – WAITS TO BE ESCORTED
KEEPS COMMENTS TO JOB AT HAND
TRY TO PRODUCE GUILT – THEY’RE VERY GOOD AT IT
MINDFUL OF THE TIME AND WORKS QUICKLY
DOES CARE IF ANYONE’S HOME
DOESN’T PAY UNDUE ATTENTION TO YOU |
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Term
R.I.C.E.
What's it stand for? |
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Definition
| RELIABILITY, IMPORTANCE, COST, EFFECTIVENESS |
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Term
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Definition
THREAT ESTIMATES
HOW RELIABLE IS THE INFORMATION YOU’RE GETTING? |
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Term
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Definition
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Term
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Definition
IS IT HIGHER TO TAKE ACTION OR NOT?
HOW SURE ARE YOU OF FEELINGS? |
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Term
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Definition
| HOW EFFECTIVE ARE THE MEASURES YOU’RE USING? |
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Term
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Definition
| HOW THE SOCIOPATH IS GOING TO VIEW/INTERPRET THE SITUATION |
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Term
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Definition
| IF IGNORED, FEEL REJECTED, STEP IT UP |
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Term
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Definition
| I HAVE BEEN WRONGED BY YOU, FEEL ENTITLED |
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Term
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Definition
| VERY NARCISSISTIC, OVERBLOWN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION, WORLDVIEW VERY SKEWED |
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Term
| LANGUAGE OF ATTENTION-SEEKING |
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Definition
| WALK IN A ROOM AND SCREAM, TAILGATING, DRAMATIC, THE MORE PEOPLE WATCHING THE BETTER |
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Term
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Definition
MUCH MORE LIKELY TO HARM YOU, IF THEY THINK
THE PERSON THINKS YOU HAVE WRONGED THEM-THEY FEEL JUSTIFIED |
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Term
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Definition
HEAR WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR
VIEW OBJECTIONS AS OPEN DOORS |
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Term
| LANGUAGE OF IDENTITY-SEEKING |
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Definition
WANTED TO MAKE AN IDENTITY OF THEMSELVES
MIMICKING
PROUD OF WHO/WHAT THEY ARE |
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Term
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Definition
WHAT IS THE CONTEXT?
WHAT IS APPROPRIATE?
IS THE PERPETRATOR MOVING TOWARDS OR AWAY FROM THEIR GOAL?
DO THEY FEEL JUSTIFIED?
DOES THE PERSON SEE ANY ALTERNATIVE?
DOES THE PERSON UNDERSTAND CONSEQUENCES? |
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Term
J.A.C.A. (ALL PERCEIVED)
What's it stand for? |
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Definition
| JUSTIFICATION, ALTERNATIVES, CONSEQUENCES, ABILITY |
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Term
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Definition
| DO THEY FEEL JUSTIFIED FOR VIOLENCE? |
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Term
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Definition
1. MORAL HIGH GROUND
2. ANGER DUE TO PAST INJUSTICES (IN THEIR OWN MIND)
3. PERCEIVED INTENTIONALITY |
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Term
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Definition
ALTERNATIVE TO VIOLENCE? RIDICULE
NON-VIOLENT, IDENTITY THEFT
KNOW WHAT THEY WANT BEFORE YOU DECIDE IF THEY HAVE ALTERNATIVES
HOW DOES THE PERSON VIEW CONSEQUENCES? |
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Term
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Definition
WHAT’S TO LOSE?
HOW MUCH TIME INVESTED? |
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Term
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Definition
DOES THE PERSON BELIEVE THEY CAN SUCCESSFULLY HURT YOU?
PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN VIOLENT IN THE PAST MORE LIKELY TO HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE |
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