Term
| Person Centered Communication |
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Definition
is when we tailor and adapt our messages to a specific person, take their feelings into account, keep their situation in mind, and attempt to accomplish some goal of our own. This goal may be to make them feel better, give advice, or persuade them to do something,
-Helps the upset person engage in the reappraisal of their crisis to take it as a challenge rather than a threat.
-Important to take in the other persons perspective. |
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Term
| What are the two most important skills for friendships? |
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Definition
| Comforting a friend when they are down and celebrating them when they have achieved something. Keep in mind comforting is a form of persuasion. |
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Term
| Steps towards helping a friend in crisis: |
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Definition
1. Start with compassion. Ask them questions about how they feel, and validate those feelings.
2. Give some ego support, let the person know how much you value you them. (support phase)
3. Wait to give advice/perspective once the emotions have boiled off. Keep eye contact, nod, ask questions, and otherwise encourage the person to open up. |
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Term
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Definition
| is a schema about how we understand other people, and distinguish them. The more sophisticated these schemas are the better we are at dealing with people and figuring out who they are, and how we should treat them. All of this boils down to cognitive complexity. Not everyone should be treated the same (stereotyped). The more we can understand people and how they are unique the better we are at dealing with people centered situations. |
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Term
| What should you avoid if your are trying to use person centered communication? |
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Definition
1. Minimizing the person's situation
2. Challenge the way they feel about the situation
3. Try to distract the person away from the problem
4. Turing their problem into a story about yourself or someone else. |
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Term
| Appraisal Theory (Existentialism) |
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Definition
Cognitive Appraisal- Describes the way we interpret a situation, what it means to us, the emotions we feel about it, and what action if any we take.
1.Primary Appraisal- initial uptake. How does this effect me?
2.Secondary Appraisal- How MUCH will this effect me? Should I do something?
The way I appraise the situation leads to specific 3. emotional responses and 4. action tendency. If I interpret the situation as a threat my emotions will be negative, if I interpret the situation as a challenge my feelings will be empowered. "Threat I want to avoid, challenge I want to take up"-M. |
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Term
| What is cognitive reappraisal? |
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Definition
| This is when we reinterpret a situation in light of new information; our feelings toward the situation change, we transform it from a threat to a challenge. |
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Term
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Definition
1. Minimize your superiority over the other person. Don't act as an authority. Respect the other persons sense of face.
2. Put choices back in. Give them more than one solution to the problem.
3. Ask if you can give the person advice. Helps ease the persons feeling that choices are being taken from them (threatening their autonomy).
4. Give advice that is feasible and realistic. Explain why your solution would work. Help the person come up with their own solutions by asking questions. |
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Term
| Accessibility model of information |
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Definition
| People make judgements with the most recent or accessible information (normally gathered through TV News) rather than go through the effort to hunt down more contextual or historical information. |
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Term
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Definition
The media tells people what is important and people listen. Most of people opinions on issues, or which issues are important right now reflect what is being fed to them through the media. This sets an agenda for the things we think and talk about.
First Level- Media tells us what to think about (accessibility of info through repeated exposure)
Second Level- Media tells us how to think about it (aka how they frame an issue). Focusing on how applicable information is to us. If the media can frame an issue that aligns with a schema we already have about something, then it will make sense to us. It will play right into our biases and since we are cognitive misers we will buy right into it. Framing obscures part of the truth to appeal to a certain audience. |
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Term
| What is "need for orientation"? |
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Definition
Some people have a stronger desire to know what is going on. Two things influence our need for orientation (aka our need to intake information so that we can shape an opinion, thought pattern, and action around that information):
1. How relevant it is to us
2. How much uncertainty we feel about it. |
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Term
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Definition
| The internet and social media can serve as agenda melders: they meld the agendas of individuals into online group agendas by sharing the same stories and memes. Therefore your online group starts to set some on your agenda based on what they are sharing. |
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Term
| "Human beings have need to "expand" their own life force and life meaning beyond themselves; this need to be beyond one's immediate self is the heroic drive. The heroic drive may take the form of a cultural achievement like a high status career, a victory in a competition with others, leading (and following) other human beings, or an intense experience or peak moment had through art, religion, sex, or athletics." (p.49) |
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Definition
-Existentialism
- This drive toward specialness is called self-esteem in psychology.
- Living a life devoid of heroic drive is a life unlived. It's a life devoid of passion, apathy, and indifference. |
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Term
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Definition
| The extent to which people are driven to merge with a group, community, or purpose larger than one's self. We hunger for Heroic Belonging, which comes from expanding the power, prestige, membership, and lifespan of our group rather than our individual selves. |
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Term
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Definition
| The aspect of human beings drive toward heroism that involves the need to stand apart from everyone else through our own self-development and achievement. We need to distinguish ourselves from others. We need to feel special. |
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Term
| What is the paradox between eros and agape? AKA the difference between distinction and belonging. |
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Definition
"If he gives into agape he risks failing to develop himself...if he expands eros too much he risks cutting himself off from natural dependency, from duty to a larger creation. He pulls away from the healing power of gratitude and humility that he must naturally feel for being created". (p.51)
-We need to transcend who we are an at the same time merge so we can belong. |
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Term
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Definition
| Because it is easier to worship and Transfer all our potential onto someone else, rather then live with the anxiety of living up to it. Also known as projecting our gold. |
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Term
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Definition
-Most precarious and precious thing a person has.
-Other people grant it through their approval of whom we are, and other people can take it away.
-Self esteem is essential towards living a happy life |
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Term
| "Face is something diffusely located in the flow of events in the encounter and becomes manifest only when these events are read and interpreted fro the appraisals expressed in them" (p.53). |
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Definition
-We must protect each other sense of face, and grant one another self esteem.
-Face is how we wish to be seen, the identity we wish to project in a given interaction.
-Face is a pan-cultural aspect of human interaction that is enacted and negotiated by culture specific rules and norms. |
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Term
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Definition
-Comes in the forms of apologies, explanations, and minimizations of unbecoming behavior.
-"Civil inattention" is also a type of face work. It's when we pretend not to notice something about another persons behavior.
-The projected face definition has a distinctive moral character. When someones claims to be a particular kind of person, they exert a moral demand upon others to treat them in a manner that persons of their kind have a right to expect. Essentially we have a moral obligation to give people the benefit of the doubt, and protect the sense of face they say they are. This is because we hold people sacred. We don't challenge someones projected identity unless we have reasonable cause to do so. |
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Term
| What is the difference between self esteem and face? (Existentialism) |
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Definition
| Self esteem is how we feel about who we are, based largely on what other people think of us. Face is the way we present ourselves and how we want our identity to be perceived. When we are not perceived as we wish to be, it hurts our self esteem. |
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Term
| "My identity guides the performance, is changed by the performance, or is abandoned through lack of performance". |
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Definition
-Performance is not faking self, it is making self.
-Who I come to be with others is ta result of both the person I claim to be with them, and the extent to which they conform, modify, or oppose my claims to be a particular identity.
-We don't like hanging out with people who challenge our identity, but rather those who affirm our identity.
-Who I claim to be also kind of puts s claim on who I take you to be. Ex: Boy picks up girl for a date. She is dressed very modestly. So he perceives through her identity that she expects his expressing of identity will be respectful and modest as well. |
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Term
| What is Depth Psychology? |
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Definition
| How we understand the unconscious mind. |
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Term
| What is the Shadow? (Depth Psychology) |
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Definition
-It is the socially risky part of ourselves that we bury as a child because we need to fit in to survive, to belong. As an adult we must unpack the shadow, and overcome it to be fully realized persons.
-All the things we says and don't say in order to maintain relationships.
-The shadow is those aspects of self that are seen as inferior, those roles and performances that we try to hide from others and ourselves.
- AKA the shamed self created by a blow to our self esteem and lose of face with others. We stuff all the things other people didn't like or approve of us as a child into our shadow.
- Everyone needs a shadow to survive in a culture, but the problem of redundant constraint occurs when we have things in our shadow that would be helpful to us. Ex: boys are told to stuff vulnerability into their shadow. |
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Term
| What is the difference between cognitive dissonance and projection? |
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Definition
| 99% of cognitive dissonance is conscious. We are able to pin point why something/someone bothers us. Projection if 99% unconscious. What we project onto others is what we don't want to deal with in ourselves, in our shadow. Takes more effort and self reflection to pin point why we are projecting. |
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Term
| "Because it is contrary to our chosen conscious attitude, the shadow personality is denied expression in life and develops into a relatively separate splinter personality in the unconscious, where it is isolated from exposure and discovery" (p.58). |
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Definition
Repression does not eliminate what you have stuffed into your shadow, they continue to exist/express in an unchecked (unconscious) and in a disruptive way.
-The more I deny my shadow the more it will run my life. |
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Term
| What is "cultural shadow"? |
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Definition
| Because socialization is required for one to internalize one's culture, we often internalize our culture's shadow as well. Every value comes with shadow. Ex: A culture that values hard work puts relaxation in shadow. A culture that values youth puts age in shadow. |
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Term
| "In our quest to identify with only our positive qualities, and to deny, repress, and distance ourselves from our shadow qualities, we often project onto others what we don't want to admit to in ourselves and put upon others what we deny in ourselves" (p.61). |
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Definition
-Projection of Shadow which is unconscious and stems from fear.
-Whatever it is I deny in myself I accuse of you.
Ex: A self-righteous religious man has feelings of greed and lust so he projects that in the form on anger and disgust towards the sinful nature of homosexuals and the "unchurched". He has a sinner in his shadow. |
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Term
| How do we project judgement? |
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Definition
We always judge the actions of others more harshly then when we make the same action. Ex: My friend is late so they must not value me as a friend vs I am late, but it's ok because everyone is late sometimes.
-Also, when my ego takes a beating its easier to fall into projection in order to get rid of all the negative thoughts I am having about myself. |
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Term
| What are projection "hooks"? |
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Definition
| The people we project upon usually have hooks, something for our projection to stick to. Ex: Someone acts greedy so we project our own shadow of greed upon them. |
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Term
| Are most things in my shadow good or bad? |
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Definition
| Jung argues that 99% of whats in my shadow is pure gold. |
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Term
| Can we communicate without metaphor? |
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Definition
| It is nearly impossible. This type of communication is habitual and we are normally unaware of it. |
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Term
| "We do love or hate our enemies as much as we love or hate ourselves. In the image of the enemy we will find the mirror in which we may see our own face most clearly" (p.65) |
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Definition
| We are driven to fabricate an enemy as a scapegoat to bear the burden of our own darkness. Project our shadow onto the "bad guy". We create surplus evil our of a need to belong. Creating a common enemy brings people together. EX: Gays the enemy of the church. If you are selling a right way to live, their has to be an enemy/example of the wrong way to live. |
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Term
| What does it mean to follow your bliss? |
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Definition
| It means to follow your calling in your life's work. Doing this is a duty to the self.Those who do not listen to their calling, to their destiny, find themselves in the "waste land". They will live inauthentic lives, doing what they are told, rather then what they are meant for. "Opus" means work. |
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Term
| How do we use metaphors to communicate? |
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Definition
-Metaphors function as a conceptual systems that define our everyday actions and reality. Human though and experience is largely a matter of metaphor.
-Metaphors are what human beings use to organize their experiences meaningfully, they provide us a way of experiencing one kind of thing in terms of another.
-We need to interrogate the metaphors and ask "what does this metaphor highlight and what does it hide?". Something is always left out of a metaphor. EX: Our culture highlights progress (improvements in quality of life) but often obscures the losses and deterioration of quality. For example we have made progress in cell phone technology, but how have cell phones deteriorated the quality of communication?
- Metaphor organizes "common sense". Interrogating the metaphor gets us to question and understand the "uncommon sense". |
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Term
| "We become accustomed quite early to a "natural" way of talking, and being talked to about the "truth"...An insensitivity to the unconscious effects of our natural metaphors condemns us to highly constricted perceptions of how things are and, therefore, to highly limited alternative modes of behavior" (p.78). |
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Definition
- Social Constructionism
- Natural metaphor isn't actually natural, we have Made it natural. These deeply embedded and accepted natural metaphors that go uninterrogated is way for us to fall asleep. |
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Term
| How does choosing ones metaphors expand ones sense of freedom? |
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Definition
| Instead of going along with the metaphor "time is money" choosing "time is being in the moment" gives you freedom to enjoy life more. Instead of "falling in love" which is temporary and passive, choosing the active form of "Love is like tending a garden" will lead to longer laster more fulfilling relationships. |
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Term
| "Common sense suggests that we choose products based on our unique tastes and preferences... The hidden side of this metaphor is that our preferences and tastes are just as manufactured as the products we buy. Our wants and needs my be ours, but they are not of our own making" (p. 83). |
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Definition
| We don't want to be satisfied we want to be continually seduced. Ex:Is there anything we want for xmas not produced in the hundred of thousands? |
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Term
| What is consumer psychology? |
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Definition
It is the study of consumers to figure out how to sell them products. Researchers have found the best way to sell someone something is to figure out who someone wants to be. Since we uses commodities to form our identities, if a company can attach a sense of identity we want onto a product we will buy it. Ex: Cloths to express identity.
- How am I trying to buy a life? True identity comes from action. Buying identity is cheap and fabricated. |
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Term
| What are we really consuming? |
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Definition
| We are really consuming meaning through the sign value of an object. This jackets sign value is cool and that is meaningful to me so I will buy it. Most things we buy have more sign value to us than actual use value. So in many ways what we own is what we have to say. Ex: someone who owns a prius vs. a hummer. |
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Term
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Definition
| The ability to waste resources for a "sense of style" engaged in by the Leisure Class to boost their reputation. Ex: Having a palor room no one goes in, buying designer clothes, etc. How does our consumption set our status? In some ways we are consuming reputation. |
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