Lying/Deception

Conflict

Jealousy

Intentionally Hurtful Messages

Embarrassment

Loneliness

Co-Dependency

Stalking/Obsession

Explains the strategic choices made when engaging in deceptive communication

Falsification- outright lie

Concealment- partial truth/leave out details

Equivocation- being strategically vague

Completeness: the amount of info shared. Keep specific details to a minimum

Relevance/Directness: messages that are logical in flow and sequence are pertinent to the conversation

Clarity: Message is clear, comprehensible, and concise. Clear to ambiguous.

Personalization: extent to which a deceiver taes ownership of a message

Veridicality: extent to which the deceiver believes the message is truthful and the extent to which the receiver believes the message is truthful.

Friend

Family

Romantic

Power

Intimacy

Activity

Reward (if i do this maybe you will reward me)

Coercive (i have to do this or you will make me do something else)

Legitimate (mommy is boss)

Referent (ill help you because i respect you)

Expert (ill listen to you because you know what your talking about)

To harm others

To protect yourself

To spare others (most common)

Occurs out of a desire to initiate a relationship

Stalking often occurs with a goal of harming someone

Less affection (Biggest reason for best friends)

Friend or self changed

No longer participate in activities together

Increase in distance (Biggest reason for casual friends)

Indirect: Hinting your intentions my gradually letting go

Direct: Telling your friend honestly how you feel

Infidelity (Physical, Sexual, Emotional) *Men upset by physical, women by emotional

Lack of Commitment (not spending time together,, prioritizing relationship)

Dissimilarity (more similar couples more likely to stay together)

Outside Pressures (external pressures from family, friends, jobs)

*Self Determination Theory: we want to feel free to choose our path in relationships

Tend to attribute our own behavior to external causes and others' behavior to internal causes.

Can lead to relationship dissatifaction if:

Behavior is viewed negatively, it occurs frequently, and it is important enough for a partner to recall it as being dissatisfying

Intrapsychic Phase: contemplate whether relationship is worth saving

Dyadic Phase: Announce that you're considering ending the relationship

Social Phase: focus on others outside the relationship (what will we tell our friends?), negotiate shared relationships

Grave Dressing: Promote a positive image of your role in your version of the relationship. Ceremonial. Give away items.

Differentiating (partners focus on differences)

Circumscribing (choose safe topics that won't lead to arguments)

Stagnating (going throught the motions)

Avoiding (Fill schedules to avoid one another)

Terminating (End!)

Used to hurry the termination. Little consideration for the rejected partner.

e.g. starting a fight to give a reason for ending the relationship

Recognize that it is a process (takes time to work through the range of emotions)

Rely on your support network (discuss with friends/family. Stay busy)

Talk with a professional

*Closure and Forgiveness

Understanding The Self: insight about our own cultural background and identity development

Technological Transformations: mass media and technology will bring the world closer

Influence of Demographic Transitions: nearly 90% of immigrants come from latin america and asian nations. Increase in interracial/interdenominational marriages. Shift from white male employee dominance in workplace

Knowledge: Uncertainty Reduction Theory (passive: observations, active: 3rd party interactions, interactive strategies: direct interactions)

Understanding: influence of elements such as race, ethnicity, language difference and beliefs on relationships

Acceptance: awareness of feelings and emotions involved in diverse approaches to relationships

Skills: Effective listening, assertiveness, responsiveness, nonverbal sensitivity, language comprehension, conflict management

The unique qualities or characteristics that distinguish individuals and groups from one another

*age, education, ethnicity, gender, race, sexual orientation, social class

The process of inheriting norms, cutsoms, and ideaologies. Learning one's culture and how to live within it.

Ethnicity (common heritage, or background, shared by a group of people ie irish-american)

Race (genetically inherited biological characteristics ie skin color)

Regional Differences (differing speech patterns, attitudes, and values based on geographic location ie speech rate)

Social Class (based on educational, occupational, or financial background. Homophily: we choose to be with those who are similar to us)

Culture is:

Learned: explicit learning (actual instructions), implicit learning (via observation)

Dynamic: cultures are not static, impacted by approach to uncertainty

Pervasive: can't escape it's influence (clothing, food, language etc)

Predispositions which serve as a guide for thoughts and behaviors

needs, values, beliefs, and attitudes.

Individuals experience feelings of discomfort or desire which motivates us to overcome the feelings and restore stability.

Maslow

Relationship b/t needs and interpersonal communication. Primary need of interaction.

Serve as a guide for our behaviors

Personal philosophy can be explicitly or implicity expressed

Learned tendencies to respond favorably or unfavoraby toward a given object of orientation

Stereotyping

Prejudice

Individualism: focus on individual accomplishments (US)

Collectivism: primary value for the group (Japan)

Low: Individuals viewed as equal within the culture

High: Tall hierarchy structure of power

Masculine: Assertiveness, ambition, achievement

Feminine: nuturance, cooperation, equal gender roles

High: avoid or resist change

Low: embrace or initiate change

Marital

Parent-Child

Sibling

Traditionals: high interdependence and sharing *most satisfied

Independents: respect for autonomy, high level of communication and sharing

Separates: emphasize individual identity over relationship maintenance, avoid conflict.

Systems Theory (family is a system and each element is relevant in explaining how family members relate)

Family Communication Patterns Theory (focuses on the cognitive processes used to guide our interpersonal interactions)

Symbolic Interaction Theory (five concepts of symbolic interactionsim help to understand the impact that family interactions have on shaping one's identity)

Consensual: high conformity, high conversation

Pluralistic: low conformity, high conversation

Protective: high conformity, low conversation

Laissez Faire: low conformity, low conversation

*Conformity: degree to which a family encourages autonomy in individual beliefs, values, and attitudes

*Conversation: level of openness and the frequency with which a variety of topics are discussed

Confirmation: we treat family members in a way that is consistent with how they see themselves

Rejection: we treat family members in a way that is different than how they see themselves

Disconfirmation: occurs when family members fail to offer any type of response

A roadmap for how to live a life and how to respond to the constantly changing landscapes in which we exist. Guides our personal, relational, and community identities.

The moral order captures the assumptions that drive the lifescript.

Seems to be a natural tension between the desire for privacy vs the need for openness.

Boundary Management: involves decisions at any moment about what should be private and what should be known.

A question of what feels safe.

Equal disclosure.

As trust increases so can disclosures.

Save the most personal stuff for intimate relationships

LARC

Effective Listening: an ongoing process of attempting to understand what is said. Delay judgement (allow for clarification). Whole meaning. Ask questions to clarify.

Acknowledging: acknowledge that we are sculpting meaning, or creating some level of shared understanding. Telling the speaker what you heard them say, make sure you interpreted correctly.

Responding: time for your own comments, statements, perspectives, advice. A threatening response can destroy a convo/relationship

Commiting: Bring some closure. Acknowledge the accoplishments and contributions that have occured. What will happen next?

No significant differences between males and females.

Males: jealous over sexual infidelity
Females: jealous over emotional infidelity

When you identify with other peoples emotions

Someone is embarrassed you feel for them